From time to time, we have to make decisions, people can really stressed out by the decisions they have to make in life. Always worry for what university I should go, what should I study. But if I knew what is gonna happen in life...then it turn out to be what a waste of time for worrying about all those things. Indeed, I do not know what will happen in life, yet I have a choice, to worry or not to worry. Are there such things as right decisions and wrong decisions? Good decisions or bad decisions? May be it's just different outcome, just like the way we drive to work, to school. There's many alternative. Yesterday took that path, today take this road, tomorrow may be ride on bicycle. That's true some are longer, some are shorter, some are prettier. But non of that is right or wrong, just a different way of getting there. It just different options. It doesn't matter the decision actually is, may be I can always do something out of it, afterward get the way I want to go. I shouldn't making decisions out of guilt or ego trip. Not out of fear. Not out of ill will. Not out of delusion. I can never say one path is better than the others. It just different.
Showing posts with label study. Show all posts
Showing posts with label study. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Con te partirò
It's time to say goodbye ...to those chained capital letters. Those C linked to C, to H, to N and many more else formed rings. At least I hope so, which may not happen in future actually. My Chemistry turn out quite lousy (expected), below average. I'm not quite fond to those polka dot things ever since I first saw it. Those represented by indistinguishable structure constructed by lines and capital letters...annoying...very very cumbersome, loathsome... Remorse to those mistakes I had made, it's not the way for me. It's time to move on. Move on !!!
From time to time, we have to make decisions, people can really stressed out by the decisions they have to make in life. Always worry for what university I should go, what should I study. But if I knew what is gonna happen in life...then it turn out to be what a waste of time for worrying about all those things. Indeed, I do not know what will happen in life, yet I have a choice, to worry or not to worry. Are there such things as right decisions and wrong decisions? Good decisions or bad decisions? May be it's just different outcome, just like the way we drive to work, to school. There's many alternative. Yesterday took that path, today take this road, tomorrow may be ride on bicycle. That's true some are longer, some are shorter, some are prettier. But non of that is right or wrong, just a different way of getting there. It just different options. It doesn't matter the decision actually is, may be I can always do something out of it, afterward get the way I want to go. I shouldn't making decisions out of guilt or ego trip. Not out of fear. Not out of ill will. Not out of delusion. I can never say one path is better than the others. It just different.
From time to time, we have to make decisions, people can really stressed out by the decisions they have to make in life. Always worry for what university I should go, what should I study. But if I knew what is gonna happen in life...then it turn out to be what a waste of time for worrying about all those things. Indeed, I do not know what will happen in life, yet I have a choice, to worry or not to worry. Are there such things as right decisions and wrong decisions? Good decisions or bad decisions? May be it's just different outcome, just like the way we drive to work, to school. There's many alternative. Yesterday took that path, today take this road, tomorrow may be ride on bicycle. That's true some are longer, some are shorter, some are prettier. But non of that is right or wrong, just a different way of getting there. It just different options. It doesn't matter the decision actually is, may be I can always do something out of it, afterward get the way I want to go. I shouldn't making decisions out of guilt or ego trip. Not out of fear. Not out of ill will. Not out of delusion. I can never say one path is better than the others. It just different.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
What will happen in a few hours
STPM is going to be announced today at 12.00 noon. That means in few hours later, I will know my result. I'm getting anxious, that's why I'm blogging now. As a way to distress (for me). Hands trembling while typing, hyperventilating, heart beats getting faster and faster. I can't help, you know. I started to realize, when unknown things (what I am concerning) are going to happen to me, I started to behave superstitious. Like reckoning every limbic movement doing at this moment can alters my future. I tend to seat very straight as I think if I don't, something misfortune can befallen to me. I can tell every minutes, blood rushing to my head from my stomach, dizziness happened.
The time sequence seems getting slower and slower, that I had experienced before. I can almost said 'wat de hel' !!! Yeah, It felt like hell, perhaps this is hell. Imagine this kind emotion we experienced continues for
Monday, November 30, 2009
Smooch ! Ahh! I luv u, exam.
Updates...
Maths T 2 ~ checked!
Biology 1 ~ checked!
Pengajian Am 1~ checked!
Chemistry 1 ~ checked!
Biology 1 ~ checked!
Pengajian Am 1~ checked!
Chemistry 1 ~ checked!
ps: My chemistry 2 messed up, wonderful
Friday, November 13, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Approching
I can feel the tension when it's around the corner. The immense and colossal being is starting to claw its way towards me, confronting me, challenging me. I know I have neither turning point nor second chance, I have to face it.
I have no time to prepare, honestly I never seriously take it as a threat to me, until now. Back then, I neglect the danger, as if it just a sparkle of ember, but it grows into a blasting flare, like the solar prominence radiating itself, scorches my mind.
I know it is not the right time for me to regret and worry. What I can do now is catching up, making time out of no time.
Gambatte ! I can do it!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Sixth Form
I will never know how terrifying and torturing the life of sixth form would be if I did not choose this path. I can feel the dense pressure that exerted on me anytime, anywhere. I know I should not comment in such ways because somehow this world still has many people are experiencing more extreme torment than me.
I just wanted to find a place to shout out loud enough to make me feel better. I’m wondering if I chose another path, what would my life turned out to be. Is it going to be a twist in my life? I know thinking like this is not going to help me get out of my real life, but I can’t help it. What is the difference between being patience and being here? Sometime I found out that I have lost so much of life because I don’t have that patience. Am I really being there while life is happening? Life goes by so fast, and then wake up in the morning suddenly realize that I turn out to be 40, 50, 60……WOW! I can’t deal with that. In convention, people told us to make plan for the future, but what I can do is making tentative plan, I won’t know what is going to happen in future. And then in the end I will find out that what I am getting out is my life.
I feel like a prisoner when I’m staying in sixth form for two years. It is like a mental excruciation and I am drowning in the abyss of examination. I started to realize that I’m not interested to study science subject and doing experiments in the lab, but it is too late. I feel impatient to finish the life in sixth form. I’m waiting for the future rather than waiting in the moment. Being patient is really tough for me as it is like serving this moment, however the more I rush ahead the harder I feel.
I find no place for me to shout for instant, so allow me to shout at here. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I just wanted to find a place to shout out loud enough to make me feel better. I’m wondering if I chose another path, what would my life turned out to be. Is it going to be a twist in my life? I know thinking like this is not going to help me get out of my real life, but I can’t help it. What is the difference between being patience and being here? Sometime I found out that I have lost so much of life because I don’t have that patience. Am I really being there while life is happening? Life goes by so fast, and then wake up in the morning suddenly realize that I turn out to be 40, 50, 60……WOW! I can’t deal with that. In convention, people told us to make plan for the future, but what I can do is making tentative plan, I won’t know what is going to happen in future. And then in the end I will find out that what I am getting out is my life.
I feel like a prisoner when I’m staying in sixth form for two years. It is like a mental excruciation and I am drowning in the abyss of examination. I started to realize that I’m not interested to study science subject and doing experiments in the lab, but it is too late. I feel impatient to finish the life in sixth form. I’m waiting for the future rather than waiting in the moment. Being patient is really tough for me as it is like serving this moment, however the more I rush ahead the harder I feel.
I find no place for me to shout for instant, so allow me to shout at here. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Friday, June 12, 2009
STPM
Most of the time, i feel that I couldn't breath. I feel very depress and low self esteem as I cannot concentrate on my study. There are plenty of assignments and revisions obscured at the dark corner, and that makes me feel guilty as I dare not touch them. I felt that I had lost the feeling of study. And that aggravates my depression. I always question myself, is it worth to study in sixth form? Is it worth spending two precious years just only for that examination? I am not able to manage my time properly, and that is why my CGPA could not exceed 3.0 points. Day by day, I spend almost all the time in front of the computer browsing internet aimlessly. I wandered around the websites, searching for some distraction, something that can pull me away from the depression. I know that these things are ineffective but I cannot figure out other choices. In more precise description, I am scared of changes; I am lazy to pull myself away form the swamp of decadence.
What should I do?
