Happiness Launch

My real exam will start at 19 November, I have two month for me to prepare, but somehow I feel like time is not enough for me. Am I thinking about the exam too much? Because people said doing it is not a hard work, but thinking about it will make it becomes the hardest. So I suppose I should not bother about it, and stop panicking, stop feeling anxious, and stop being depress, because feeling depress for being depress doesn't make it less depress. So, take it as an experience, do not hesitate, do not feel insecure, take the time and use it happily, because we do not own the time, we do not own our life, the time owns our life. We can do whatever in our life if only we feel peace along our journey. The world would not care for you unless you care for yourself first. So, now make yourself feel like planting a Seed of Peace in your Garden of Mind, watering it everyday with good thoughts. It won't get drawn if you irrigate it too much, but it will shrink if you water it with bad and depressing thoughts. No matter what happen, think optimistically and positively. You will feel grateful for being yourself.

Sixth Form

I will never know how terrifying and torturing the life of sixth form would be if I did not choose this path. I can feel the dense pressure that exerted on me anytime, anywhere. I know I should not comment in such ways because somehow this world still has many people are experiencing more extreme torment than me.

I just wanted to find a place to shout out loud enough to make me feel better. I’m wondering if I chose another path, what would my life turned out to be. Is it going to be a twist in my life? I know thinking like this is not going to help me get out of my real life, but I can’t help it. What is the difference between being patience and being here? Sometime I found out that I have lost so much of life because I don’t have that patience. Am I really being there while life is happening? Life goes by so fast, and then wake up in the morning suddenly realize that I turn out to be 40, 50, 60……WOW! I can’t deal with that. In convention, people told us to make plan for the future, but what I can do is making tentative plan, I won’t know what is going to happen in future. And then in the end I will find out that what I am getting out is my life.

I feel like a prisoner when I’m staying in sixth form for two years. It is like a mental excruciation and I am drowning in the abyss of examination. I started to realize that I’m not interested to study science subject and doing experiments in the lab, but it is too late. I feel impatient to finish the life in sixth form. I’m waiting for the future rather than waiting in the moment. Being patient is really tough for me as it is like serving this moment, however the more I rush ahead the harder I feel.

I find no place for me to shout for instant, so allow me to shout at here. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr